Act 00 Scene 00

Setting the Stage

30|00|13|12|L|Q|
29|00|13|12|R|Q|

Act 01 Scene 02

Quite a Few

21|00|00|10|L|S|There are a few people in this line.
21|00|00|02|L|Q|
20|00|00|12|R|Q|

21|00|00|12|L|Q|
20|00|00|10|R|S|Not just a few.
There are quite a few.
20|00|00|02|R|Q|

21|00|00|20|L|S|It`s not quite a few.
It`s almost a few.
But it`s not quite a few.
21|00|00|02|L|Q|
20|00|00|22|R|Q|

21|00|00|12|L|Q|
20|00|00|10|R|S|Oh, no...
It`s quite a few.
20|00|00|02|R|Q|

21|00|00|12|L|T|!!!!
20|00|00|12|R|T|!!!!

Act 01 Scene 08

God`s God

23|00|00|10|R|S|Pretty unlucky ending up here, huh?
24|00|00|10|L|Q|

23|00|00|10|R|Q|
24|00|00|10|L|S|You don`t know the half of it.

23|00|00|20|R|S|I guess everybody thinks that they are the one who is so unlucky.
24|00|00|20|L|Q|

23|00|00|10|R|Q|
24|00|00|10|L|S|Here`s how unlucky I am.

23|00|00|48|R|Q|
24|00|00|48|L|S|If my God had a God, my God`s God would punish my God for treating me so poorly.

23|00|00|10|R|S|Are we still talking about luck?
24|00|00|10|L|Q|

23|00|00|10|R|Q|
24|00|00|10|L|S|It`s all a matter of perspective.

Act 01 Scene 10

Aldolf Sweetie

07|01|00|26|R|S|Ich kann nicht glauben, dass ich in solch einer langen Reihe, da dies zu stehen!
07|01|00|04|R|Q|
08|09|00|30|L|Q|

07|00|00|18|R|Q|
08|00|00|14|L|S|Adolf, sweetie, calm down. There`s nothing you can do about it.
08|00|00|04|L|Q|

07|00|00|26|R|S|Woher kommen all diese Leute und warum muss ich hinter ihnen warten?
07|00|00|04|R|Q|
08|00|00|30|L|Q|

07|00|00|26|R|Q|
08|00|08|22|L|S|It`s your own fault. If you hadn`t killed all those Jews, the line wouldn`t be so long!
08|00|09|04|L|Q|

07|00|00|08|R|T|!!!!
08|00|00|08|L|Q|

Act 01 Scene 99

Intermission 1

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Act 02 Scene 01

Figurative Jesus

13|00|00|12|R|S|I don`t know how you could possibly do it.
14|00|00|12|L|Q|

13|00|00|06|R|Q|
14|00|00|06|L|S|Do what?

13|00|00|12|R|S|What Jesus would do.
14|00|00|12|L|Q|

13|00|00|12|R|S|We can`t all wander around preaching now can we?
14|00|00|04|L|T|????
14|00|00|04|L|Q|
14|00|00|04|L|T|!!!!

13|00|00|12|R|S|You couldn`t even own a car!
14|00|00|12|L|Q|

13|00|00|12|R|S|You couldn`t own a house. You couldn`t have a pet!
14|00|00|12|L|T|!!!!

13|00|00|12|R|S|I don`t know how you could possibly do it.
14|00|00|12|L|Q|

13|00|00|12|R|Q|
14|00|00|12|L|S|You may be taking the idea too literally.

13|00|00|20|R|S|So I should do what Jesus would do... figuratively?
14|00|00|20|L|Q|

13|00|00|06|R|Q|
14|00|00|06|L|S|Well...

13|00|00|20|R|S|``Here street-person: Feast on this figurative piece of bread.``
14|00|00|20|L|Q|????

13|00|00|06|R|T|!!!!
14|00|00|06|L|T|!!!!

Act 02 Scene 02

Own a Burger

15|00|07|12|R|S|Now I`m really starting to feel guilty for all the stuff I own.
15|00|07|03|R|Q|
16|00|00|15|L|Q|

15|00|07|06|R|Q|
16|00|00|06|L|S|You mean,
``Owned``.

15|00|08|10|R|S|If only I had given it all to the poor.
15|00|08|03|R|Q|
16|00|08|13|L|Q|

15|00|07|06|R|Q|
16|00|08|06|L|S|Then they would own it.

15|00|07|06|R|S|What?
16|00|08|06|L|Q|

15|00|07|08|R|Q|
16|00|14|08|L|S|You cannot avoid owning things.

15|00|07|04|R|S|Sure I can.
16|00|08|04|L|Q|

15|00|07|15|R|Q|
16|00|14|12|L|S|Once you eat a burger, you own it.
16|00|14|03|L|Q|

15|00|07|04|R|T|????
16|00|08|04|L|Q|

15|00|07|15|R|Q|
16|00|09|12|L|S|We have to possess things in order to survive.
16|00|09|03|L|Q|

15|00|07|15|R|Q|
16|00|08|12|L|S|No sense in feeling guilty for making yourself comfortable.
16|00|08|03|L|Q|

15|00|07|12|R|T|????
16|00|08|12|L|Q|

15|00|08|08|R|S|I gave the burger back eventually.
15|00|08|04|R|Q|
16|00|08|12|L|Q|

15|00|08|08|R|Q|
16|00|14|08|L|T|!!!!

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Act 02 Scene 03

Idol Hunger

05|00|00|10|R|S|Everything you desire is an idol.
06|00|00|05|L|Q|
06|00|00|05|L|T|????

05|00|00|20|R|S|The only desire which is not idolatry, is the desire for God.
06|00|00|10|L|Q|
06|00|00|10|L|T|!!!!

05|00|00|14|R|Q|
06|00|00|14|L|S|Am I committing idolatry when I desire a meal?

05|00|00|16|R|S|You are, if you do not thank God for granting you the meal.
06|00|00|16|L|Q|

05|00|00|06|R|Q|
06|00|00|06|L|S|By saying grace.

05|00|00|04|R|S|Yes.
06|00|00|04|L|Q|

05|00|00|18|R|Q|
06|00|00|18|L|S|By that reasoning, I should say grace before having sex.

05|00|00|20|R|T|!!!!
06|00|00|20|L|S|``God is great. God is good. And we thank Him for this....``

05|00|00|08|R|T|????
06|00|00|08|L|Q|

Act 02 Scene 99

Intermission 2

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Act 03 Scene 01

Dark Tunnel

00|DK|00|06|R|S|Do you know where you are?
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|08|R|Q|

00|DK|00|08|R|Q|
00|00|07|06|R|S|The long dark tunnel?
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|S|Yeah...
And I`m the bright light at the end of it.
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|14|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|Q|
00|00|07|10|R|S|Actually, you look kind of grayish.
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|S|Alright, then I`m the black light in the foyer.
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|14|R|Q|

00|DK|00|18|R|Q|
00|00|07|16|R|S|Who has a black light in their foyer? Hippies maybe.
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|14|R|S|Alright, then I`m the neon sign over the front door.
00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|00|00|18|R|Q|

00|DK|00|18|R|Q|
00|00|07|14|R|S|``Budweiser.
King of Beers.``
Blink, blink, blink.
00|00|00|04|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|S|You do realize you`re about to meet your maker?
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|14|R|Q|

00|DK|00|18|R|Q|
00|00|07|16|R|S|``Check Cashing.
Open 24 Hours.``
Blink, blink, blink.
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|18|R|S|Forget the neon sign! Are you prepared to meet God?
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|20|R|Q|

00|DK|00|14|R|Q|
00|00|07|12|R|S|I`m sure God would never have a black light in His foyer.
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|06|R|S|Oh brother.
00|00|00|06|R|Q|

00|DK|00|20|R|Q|
00|00|07|18|R|S|Maybe a nice Tiffany lamp. Or some accent lighting...
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|ST|07|04|R|Q|

Act 03 Scene 03

His Own Image

00|DK|00|06|R|S|What`s God look like?
00|00|00|06|R|Q|

00|DK|00|08|R|Q|
00|00|07|08|R|S|What do you mean?

00|DK|00|22|R|S|What does
God look like?
A train?
A sparrow?
A carrot?
00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|00|00|26|R|Q|

00|DK|00|14|R|Q|
00|00|07|08|R|S|I guess, an old man with a white beard?
00|00|00|06|R|Q|

00|DK|00|10|R|S|Fell for that Michaelangelo crap, ay?
00|00|00|10|R|Q|

00|DK|00|06|R|Q|
00|00|00|06|R|T|????

00|DK|00|10|R|Q|
00|00|07|10|R|S|I don`t really know what...

00|DK|00|24|R|S|How you gonna know if you`re talking to God if you don`t know what God looks like?
00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|00|00|28|R|Q|

00|DK|00|20|R|Q|
00|00|07|12|R|S|I guess I just thought it would be obvious.
00|00|00|08|R|Q|

00|DK|00|06|R|S|Obvious? Yeah.
00|DK|00|12|R|Q|
00|00|00|18|R|Q|

00|DK|00|16|R|S|Ain`t no old man with a beard waiting for you up ahead.
00|DK|00|06|R|Q|
00|00|00|22|R|Q|

00|DK|00|20|R|S|I`m just gonna let Him deal with you. Then you`ll know what God looks like.
00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|00|00|24|R|Q|

00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|00|00|02|R|S|But...
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|ST|07|04|R|Q|

Act 03 Scene 04

All Knowledge

00|DK|00|08|R|S|Have you forgiven your trespassers?
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|10|R|Q|

00|DK|00|06|R|Q|
00|00|07|04|R|S|I guess.
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|14|R|S|You guess?
Do you know
how many people
in Heaven are
holding a grudge
against you?
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|16|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|Q|
00|00|07|10|R|S|Well,
Bob from work is probably still pissed...
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|10|R|S|None!
Zero.
Do you know why?
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|12|R|Q|

00|DK|00|16|R|Q|
00|00|07|14|R|S|Because once your dead there`s nothing you can do about it?
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|14|R|S|Because when you get to Heaven, you understand why.
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|16|R|Q|

00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|00|07|02|R|S|Why what?
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|10|R|S|Why Mary slapped Bill at the office party.
Why Jenny didn`t...
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|12|R|Q|

00|DK|00|14|R|Q|
00|00|07|12|R|S|Oh yeah!
Bill probably said something stupid and off-color.
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|22|R|S|That`s not the point!
The point is you will know why trespasses happened, and understand.
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|24|R|Q|

00|DK|00|14|R|Q|
00|00|07|12|R|S|So just because
I know why
someone hurt me,
is enough for me
to forgive them?
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|S|When you can see the whole picture,
it all makes sense.
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|14|R|Q|

00|DK|00|10|R|Q|
00|00|07|08|R|S|That does make it easier to let it all go.
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|ST|07|04|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|S|Actually,
it was because Bill goosed her at the water cooler.
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|

Act 03 Scene 99

Intermission 3

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Act 04 Scene 02

Where`s Jesus?

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22|00|13|08|R|S|Where`s Jesus?
22|00|13|16|R|Q|

23|00|13|08|L|Q|
23|00|13|16|L|S|I think he went
to get groceries.

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