Act 00 Scene 00

Setting the Stage

30|00|13|12|L|Q|
29|00|13|12|R|Q|

Act 01 Scene 02

Quite a Few

21|00|00|10|L|S|There are a few people in this line.
21|00|00|02|L|Q|
20|00|00|12|R|Q|

21|00|00|12|L|Q|
20|00|00|10|R|S|Not just a few.
There are quite a few.
20|00|00|02|R|Q|

21|00|00|20|L|S|It`s not quite a few.
It`s almost a few.
But it`s not quite a few.
21|00|00|02|L|Q|
20|00|00|22|R|Q|

21|00|00|12|L|Q|
20|00|00|10|R|S|Oh, no...
It`s quite a few.
20|00|00|02|R|Q|

21|00|00|12|L|T|!!!!
20|00|00|12|R|T|!!!!

Act 01 Scene 05

Can`t Relate

07|00|00|18|R|S|All relationships are born from the selfish motives of the two parties.
07|00|00|06|R|Q|
08|00|00|12|L|Q|
08|00|00|12|L|T|????

07|00|00|24|R|S|The relationship endures only as long as the two parties are fulfilling their own selfish motives.
07|00|00|06|R|Q|
08|00|00|30|L|Q|

07|00|00|06|R|Q|
08|00|00|06|L|S|Depressing notion.

07|00|00|24|R|S|So why would I start a relationship with someone who is only there to satisfy selfish motives?
07|00|00|06|R|Q|
08|00|00|30|L|Q|

07|00|00|06|R|Q|
08|00|00|06|L|S|You wouldn`t.

07|00|00|24|R|S|With someone who will only stay in the relationship as long as their motives are addressed?
07|00|00|06|R|Q|
08|00|00|30|L|Q|

07|00|00|08|R|Q|
08|00|00|08|L|T|????

07|00|00|06|R|Q|
08|00|00|06|L|S|I`ll be your friend.

07|00|00|04|R|S|Alright.
08|00|00|04|L|Q|

Act 01 Scene 09

Final Success

17|00|00|12|R|S|What the...
Where the hell am I?
18|00|00|12|L|Q|

17|00|00|04|R|Q|
18|00|00|04|L|S|You`re close.

17|00|00|10|R|S|I was...
Oh no!
I can`t believe I did it.
17|00|00|04|R|Q|
18|00|00|14|L|Q|

17|00|00|06|R|Q|
18|00|00|06|L|S|Did what?

17|00|00|12|R|S|My life has been one failure after the next.
18|00|00|12|L|Q|

17|00|00|04|R|Q|
18|00|00|04|L|S|Testify.

17|00|00|16|R|S|I said,
``I`m gonna be a success,
if it`s the last thing I do!``
17|00|00|04|R|Q|
18|00|00|20|L|Q|

17|00|00|04|R|Q|
18|00|00|04|L|S|And so it was.

17|00|00|14|R|S|I finally succeeded at something,
and it was my biggest failure of all.
17|00|00|04|R|Q|
18|00|00|18|L|Q|

17|00|00|18|R|Q|
18|00|00|14|L|S|The distance between success and failure can be paper thin.
18|00|00|04|L|Q|

17|00|00|02|R|Q|
18|00|07|02|L|Q|

Act 01 Scene 99

Intermission 1

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Act 02 Scene 02

Own a Burger

15|00|07|12|R|S|Now I`m really starting to feel guilty for all the stuff I own.
15|00|07|03|R|Q|
16|00|00|15|L|Q|

15|00|07|06|R|Q|
16|00|00|06|L|S|You mean,
``Owned``.

15|00|08|10|R|S|If only I had given it all to the poor.
15|00|08|03|R|Q|
16|00|08|13|L|Q|

15|00|07|06|R|Q|
16|00|08|06|L|S|Then they would own it.

15|00|07|06|R|S|What?
16|00|08|06|L|Q|

15|00|07|08|R|Q|
16|00|14|08|L|S|You cannot avoid owning things.

15|00|07|04|R|S|Sure I can.
16|00|08|04|L|Q|

15|00|07|15|R|Q|
16|00|14|12|L|S|Once you eat a burger, you own it.
16|00|14|03|L|Q|

15|00|07|04|R|T|????
16|00|08|04|L|Q|

15|00|07|15|R|Q|
16|00|09|12|L|S|We have to possess things in order to survive.
16|00|09|03|L|Q|

15|00|07|15|R|Q|
16|00|08|12|L|S|No sense in feeling guilty for making yourself comfortable.
16|00|08|03|L|Q|

15|00|07|12|R|T|????
16|00|08|12|L|Q|

15|00|08|08|R|S|I gave the burger back eventually.
15|00|08|04|R|Q|
16|00|08|12|L|Q|

15|00|08|08|R|Q|
16|00|14|08|L|T|!!!!

15|00|08|04|R|Q|
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15|00|08|04|R|Q|
16|00|14|04|L|Q|

15|00|07|04|R|Q|
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15|00|00|04|R|Q|
16|00|07|04|L|Q|

Act 02 Scene 04

Parental Rights

20|00|00|16|R|Q|
21|00|00|16|L|S|Do you think abortion will carry a high price tag?

20|00|00|16|R|S|If so, there will be a lot of wailing up ahead.
21|00|00|16|L|Q|

20|00|00|16|R|Q|
21|00|00|16|L|S|I`m at both ends of the spectrum on abortion.

20|00|00|06|R|S|How do you mean?
21|00|00|06|L|Q|

20|00|00|20|R|Q|
21|00|08|20|L|S|I believe that life begins at conception. A zygote is a human being. Period.

20|00|00|04|R|S|And...?
21|00|00|04|L|Q|

20|00|00|16|R|Q|
21|00|00|16|L|S|I also believe that you have the right to kill your children until they leave home.

20|00|08|08|R|T|!!!!
21|00|07|08|L|Q|

Act 02 Scene 08

Year of our Lord

25|00|00|24|R|S|So if you reject God, and you refuse to celebrate Christmas, how do you keep time?
25|00|00|04|R|Q|
26|00|00|28|L|Q|

25|00|00|06|R|Q|
26|00|00|06|L|S|What?

25|00|00|30|R|S|I mean,
our whole calendar
is based on the
Year of our Lord.
You can`t subscribe
to that, can you?
25|00|00|04|R|Q|
26|00|00|34|L|Q|

25|00|00|06|R|Q|
26|00|00|06|L|S|Listen...

25|00|00|38|R|S|I suppose
you base your
calendar on the
carbon-dating
of the Earth.
So...
what`s that
make it?
About year
4 billion?
25|00|00|04|R|Q|
26|00|00|42|L|Q|

25|00|00|06|R|Q|
26|00|00|06|L|S|That`s stupid.

25|00|00|06|R|Q|
26|00|00|06|L|Q|

25|00|00|08|R|S|Must be hard to fit that on checks.
25|00|00|02|R|Q|
26|00|00|10|L|Q|

25|00|00|14|R|Q|
26|00|00|10|L|S|Nah, our bank gives us special checks with a big blank.
26|00|00|04|L|Q|

25|00|00|06|R|Q|
26|00|00|06|L|Q|

25|00|00|36|R|S|March 27th,
in the year
of our planet
4,509,831,672.
Has a nice ring to it.
25|00|00|04|R|Q|
26|00|00|40|L|Q|

Act 02 Scene 99

Intermission 2

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Act 03 Scene 01

Dark Tunnel

00|DK|00|06|R|S|Do you know where you are?
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|08|R|Q|

00|DK|00|08|R|Q|
00|00|07|06|R|S|The long dark tunnel?
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|S|Yeah...
And I`m the bright light at the end of it.
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|14|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|Q|
00|00|07|10|R|S|Actually, you look kind of grayish.
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|S|Alright, then I`m the black light in the foyer.
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|14|R|Q|

00|DK|00|18|R|Q|
00|00|07|16|R|S|Who has a black light in their foyer? Hippies maybe.
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|14|R|S|Alright, then I`m the neon sign over the front door.
00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|00|00|18|R|Q|

00|DK|00|18|R|Q|
00|00|07|14|R|S|``Budweiser.
King of Beers.``
Blink, blink, blink.
00|00|00|04|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|S|You do realize you`re about to meet your maker?
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|14|R|Q|

00|DK|00|18|R|Q|
00|00|07|16|R|S|``Check Cashing.
Open 24 Hours.``
Blink, blink, blink.
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|18|R|S|Forget the neon sign! Are you prepared to meet God?
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|20|R|Q|

00|DK|00|14|R|Q|
00|00|07|12|R|S|I`m sure God would never have a black light in His foyer.
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|06|R|S|Oh brother.
00|00|00|06|R|Q|

00|DK|00|20|R|Q|
00|00|07|18|R|S|Maybe a nice Tiffany lamp. Or some accent lighting...
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|ST|07|04|R|Q|

Act 03 Scene 02

Real Sarcasm

00|DK|00|04|R|S|So what`s your story?
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|06|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|Q|
00|00|07|10|R|S|Ahh.. Goldylocks and the three bears?
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|16|R|S|Standing at the
Pearly Gates,
and you`re still throwing that
stuff around.
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|18|R|Q|

00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|00|00|02|R|S|What stuff?
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|S|You`ve been skating by on that sarcastic nonsense your entire life.
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|14|R|Q|

00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|00|00|02|R|S|So what?
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|S|When the time of reckoning is upon you, find your straight face, and speak from the heart.
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|14|R|Q|

00|DK|00|14|R|Q|
00|00|00|12|R|S|So what if I flavor my words with irony and hyperbole?
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|S|Your irreverence
exposes your lack
of commitment to
your own well being.
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|14|R|Q|

00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|00|00|02|R|S|So?
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|S|So it`s time for some real sarcasm.
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|14|R|Q|

00|DK|00|06|R|Q|
00|00|07|04|R|S|What do you mean?
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|04|R|S|Bye bye.
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|06|R|Q|

00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|SM|07|04|R|Q|

Act 03 Scene 03

His Own Image

00|DK|00|06|R|S|What`s God look like?
00|00|00|06|R|Q|

00|DK|00|08|R|Q|
00|00|07|08|R|S|What do you mean?

00|DK|00|22|R|S|What does
God look like?
A train?
A sparrow?
A carrot?
00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|00|00|26|R|Q|

00|DK|00|14|R|Q|
00|00|07|08|R|S|I guess, an old man with a white beard?
00|00|00|06|R|Q|

00|DK|00|10|R|S|Fell for that Michaelangelo crap, ay?
00|00|00|10|R|Q|

00|DK|00|06|R|Q|
00|00|00|06|R|T|????

00|DK|00|10|R|Q|
00|00|07|10|R|S|I don`t really know what...

00|DK|00|24|R|S|How you gonna know if you`re talking to God if you don`t know what God looks like?
00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|00|00|28|R|Q|

00|DK|00|20|R|Q|
00|00|07|12|R|S|I guess I just thought it would be obvious.
00|00|00|08|R|Q|

00|DK|00|06|R|S|Obvious? Yeah.
00|DK|00|12|R|Q|
00|00|00|18|R|Q|

00|DK|00|16|R|S|Ain`t no old man with a beard waiting for you up ahead.
00|DK|00|06|R|Q|
00|00|00|22|R|Q|

00|DK|00|20|R|S|I`m just gonna let Him deal with you. Then you`ll know what God looks like.
00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|00|00|24|R|Q|

00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|00|00|02|R|S|But...
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|ST|07|04|R|Q|

Act 03 Scene 99

Intermission 3

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Act 04 Scene 02

Where`s Jesus?

01|00|13|08|R|Q|
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30|00|13|08|R|Q|


01|00|13|24|R|Q|
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22|00|13|08|R|S|Where`s Jesus?
22|00|13|16|R|Q|

23|00|13|08|L|Q|
23|00|13|16|L|S|I think he went
to get groceries.

24|00|13|24|R|Q|
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