Act 00 Scene 00

Setting the Stage

30|00|13|12|L|Q|
29|00|13|12|R|Q|

Act 01 Scene 02

Quite a Few

21|00|00|10|L|S|There are a few people in this line.
21|00|00|02|L|Q|
20|00|00|12|R|Q|

21|00|00|12|L|Q|
20|00|00|10|R|S|Not just a few.
There are quite a few.
20|00|00|02|R|Q|

21|00|00|20|L|S|It`s not quite a few.
It`s almost a few.
But it`s not quite a few.
21|00|00|02|L|Q|
20|00|00|22|R|Q|

21|00|00|12|L|Q|
20|00|00|10|R|S|Oh, no...
It`s quite a few.
20|00|00|02|R|Q|

21|00|00|12|L|T|!!!!
20|00|00|12|R|T|!!!!

Act 01 Scene 03

First Questions

15|00|00|12|R|S|So where do you think we are?
16|00|00|12|L|Q|

16|00|00|12|L|S|This line could be the end of the line.
15|00|00|12|R|Q|

15|00|00|12|R|S|You mean like the long dark tunnel?
16|00|00|12|L|Q|

16|00|00|06|L|S|Could be.
15|00|00|06|R|Q|

15|00|00|10|R|S|Head for the light!
16|00|00|10|L|Q|

15|00|00|20|R|Q|
16|00|00|20|L|Q|

15|00|00|12|R|S|So, what happened to our clothes?
16|00|00|12|L|Q|

15|00|00|12|R|T|????
16|00|00|12|L|T|????

Act 01 Scene 05

Can`t Relate

07|00|00|18|R|S|All relationships are born from the selfish motives of the two parties.
07|00|00|06|R|Q|
08|00|00|12|L|Q|
08|00|00|12|L|T|????

07|00|00|24|R|S|The relationship endures only as long as the two parties are fulfilling their own selfish motives.
07|00|00|06|R|Q|
08|00|00|30|L|Q|

07|00|00|06|R|Q|
08|00|00|06|L|S|Depressing notion.

07|00|00|24|R|S|So why would I start a relationship with someone who is only there to satisfy selfish motives?
07|00|00|06|R|Q|
08|00|00|30|L|Q|

07|00|00|06|R|Q|
08|00|00|06|L|S|You wouldn`t.

07|00|00|24|R|S|With someone who will only stay in the relationship as long as their motives are addressed?
07|00|00|06|R|Q|
08|00|00|30|L|Q|

07|00|00|08|R|Q|
08|00|00|08|L|T|????

07|00|00|06|R|Q|
08|00|00|06|L|S|I`ll be your friend.

07|00|00|04|R|S|Alright.
08|00|00|04|L|Q|

Act 01 Scene 99

Intermission 1

01|00|13|04|R|Q|
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Act 02 Scene 01

Figurative Jesus

13|00|00|12|R|S|I don`t know how you could possibly do it.
14|00|00|12|L|Q|

13|00|00|06|R|Q|
14|00|00|06|L|S|Do what?

13|00|00|12|R|S|What Jesus would do.
14|00|00|12|L|Q|

13|00|00|12|R|S|We can`t all wander around preaching now can we?
14|00|00|04|L|T|????
14|00|00|04|L|Q|
14|00|00|04|L|T|!!!!

13|00|00|12|R|S|You couldn`t even own a car!
14|00|00|12|L|Q|

13|00|00|12|R|S|You couldn`t own a house. You couldn`t have a pet!
14|00|00|12|L|T|!!!!

13|00|00|12|R|S|I don`t know how you could possibly do it.
14|00|00|12|L|Q|

13|00|00|12|R|Q|
14|00|00|12|L|S|You may be taking the idea too literally.

13|00|00|20|R|S|So I should do what Jesus would do... figuratively?
14|00|00|20|L|Q|

13|00|00|06|R|Q|
14|00|00|06|L|S|Well...

13|00|00|20|R|S|``Here street-person: Feast on this figurative piece of bread.``
14|00|00|20|L|Q|????

13|00|00|06|R|T|!!!!
14|00|00|06|L|T|!!!!

Act 02 Scene 03

Idol Hunger

05|00|00|10|R|S|Everything you desire is an idol.
06|00|00|05|L|Q|
06|00|00|05|L|T|????

05|00|00|20|R|S|The only desire which is not idolatry, is the desire for God.
06|00|00|10|L|Q|
06|00|00|10|L|T|!!!!

05|00|00|14|R|Q|
06|00|00|14|L|S|Am I committing idolatry when I desire a meal?

05|00|00|16|R|S|You are, if you do not thank God for granting you the meal.
06|00|00|16|L|Q|

05|00|00|06|R|Q|
06|00|00|06|L|S|By saying grace.

05|00|00|04|R|S|Yes.
06|00|00|04|L|Q|

05|00|00|18|R|Q|
06|00|00|18|L|S|By that reasoning, I should say grace before having sex.

05|00|00|20|R|T|!!!!
06|00|00|20|L|S|``God is great. God is good. And we thank Him for this....``

05|00|00|08|R|T|????
06|00|00|08|L|Q|

Act 02 Scene 07

Planting Seed

09|00|00|12|L|Q|
08|00|00|08|R|S|Do you think God will be hard on homosexuals?
08|00|00|04|R|Q|

09|00|00|04|L|S|Not really.
09|00|00|04|L|Q|
08|00|00|08|R|Q|

09|00|00|12|L|Q|
08|00|00|08|R|S|It`s an abomination! That`s what He said.
08|00|00|04|R|Q|

09|00|00|18|L|S|God`s all about procreation.
`Be fruitful and multiply.`
And all that.
09|00|00|04|L|Q|
08|00|00|22|R|Q|

09|00|00|06|L|Q|
08|00|00|04|R|S|Yeah?
08|00|00|02|R|Q|

09|00|00|24|L|S|He doesn`t want us to waste it.
You know,
``Better to plant it in the belly of a whore than to spill it on the ground.``
09|00|00|04|L|Q|
08|00|00|28|R|Q|

09|00|00|06|L|Q|
08|00|00|04|R|S|So?
08|00|00|02|R|Q|

09|00|00|20|L|S|He`s just a little miffed that the gays aren`t putting it where it can grow. That`s all.
09|00|00|04|L|Q|
08|00|00|24|R|Q|

09|00|00|12|L|Q|
08|00|00|10|R|S|Then that would be true for all forms of sodomy, including oral.
08|00|00|02|R|Q|

09|00|00|04|L|S|True enough.
09|00|00|02|L|Q|
08|00|00|06|R|Q|

09|00|00|08|L|Q|
08|00|00|08|R|Q|

09|00|00|24|L|S|It also means that if wasting semen is a sin,
then the gays are sinning,
but the lesbians are not.
09|00|00|04|L|Q|
08|00|00|28|R|Q|

09|00|00|08|L|Q|
08|00|00|08|R|Q|

09|00|00|12|L|Q|
08|00|00|10|R|S|No seed wasted there I guess.
08|00|00|02|R|Q|

Act 02 Scene 99

Intermission 2

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Act 03 Scene 01

Dark Tunnel

00|DK|00|06|R|S|Do you know where you are?
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|08|R|Q|

00|DK|00|08|R|Q|
00|00|07|06|R|S|The long dark tunnel?
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|S|Yeah...
And I`m the bright light at the end of it.
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|14|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|Q|
00|00|07|10|R|S|Actually, you look kind of grayish.
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|S|Alright, then I`m the black light in the foyer.
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|14|R|Q|

00|DK|00|18|R|Q|
00|00|07|16|R|S|Who has a black light in their foyer? Hippies maybe.
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|14|R|S|Alright, then I`m the neon sign over the front door.
00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|00|00|18|R|Q|

00|DK|00|18|R|Q|
00|00|07|14|R|S|``Budweiser.
King of Beers.``
Blink, blink, blink.
00|00|00|04|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|S|You do realize you`re about to meet your maker?
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|14|R|Q|

00|DK|00|18|R|Q|
00|00|07|16|R|S|``Check Cashing.
Open 24 Hours.``
Blink, blink, blink.
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|18|R|S|Forget the neon sign! Are you prepared to meet God?
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|20|R|Q|

00|DK|00|14|R|Q|
00|00|07|12|R|S|I`m sure God would never have a black light in His foyer.
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|06|R|S|Oh brother.
00|00|00|06|R|Q|

00|DK|00|20|R|Q|
00|00|07|18|R|S|Maybe a nice Tiffany lamp. Or some accent lighting...
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|ST|07|04|R|Q|

Act 03 Scene 02

Real Sarcasm

00|DK|00|04|R|S|So what`s your story?
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|06|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|Q|
00|00|07|10|R|S|Ahh.. Goldylocks and the three bears?
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|16|R|S|Standing at the
Pearly Gates,
and you`re still throwing that
stuff around.
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|18|R|Q|

00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|00|00|02|R|S|What stuff?
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|S|You`ve been skating by on that sarcastic nonsense your entire life.
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|14|R|Q|

00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|00|00|02|R|S|So what?
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|S|When the time of reckoning is upon you, find your straight face, and speak from the heart.
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|14|R|Q|

00|DK|00|14|R|Q|
00|00|00|12|R|S|So what if I flavor my words with irony and hyperbole?
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|S|Your irreverence
exposes your lack
of commitment to
your own well being.
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|14|R|Q|

00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|00|00|02|R|S|So?
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|S|So it`s time for some real sarcasm.
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|14|R|Q|

00|DK|00|06|R|Q|
00|00|07|04|R|S|What do you mean?
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|04|R|S|Bye bye.
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|06|R|Q|

00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|SM|07|04|R|Q|

Act 03 Scene 04

All Knowledge

00|DK|00|08|R|S|Have you forgiven your trespassers?
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|10|R|Q|

00|DK|00|06|R|Q|
00|00|07|04|R|S|I guess.
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|14|R|S|You guess?
Do you know
how many people
in Heaven are
holding a grudge
against you?
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|16|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|Q|
00|00|07|10|R|S|Well,
Bob from work is probably still pissed...
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|10|R|S|None!
Zero.
Do you know why?
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|12|R|Q|

00|DK|00|16|R|Q|
00|00|07|14|R|S|Because once your dead there`s nothing you can do about it?
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|14|R|S|Because when you get to Heaven, you understand why.
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|16|R|Q|

00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|00|07|02|R|S|Why what?
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|10|R|S|Why Mary slapped Bill at the office party.
Why Jenny didn`t...
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|12|R|Q|

00|DK|00|14|R|Q|
00|00|07|12|R|S|Oh yeah!
Bill probably said something stupid and off-color.
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|22|R|S|That`s not the point!
The point is you will know why trespasses happened, and understand.
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|24|R|Q|

00|DK|00|14|R|Q|
00|00|07|12|R|S|So just because
I know why
someone hurt me,
is enough for me
to forgive them?
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|S|When you can see the whole picture,
it all makes sense.
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|
00|00|00|14|R|Q|

00|DK|00|10|R|Q|
00|00|07|08|R|S|That does make it easier to let it all go.
00|00|00|02|R|Q|

00|DK|00|04|R|Q|
00|ST|07|04|R|Q|

00|DK|00|12|R|S|Actually,
it was because Bill goosed her at the water cooler.
00|DK|00|02|R|Q|

Act 03 Scene 99

Intermission 3

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Act 04 Scene 02

Where`s Jesus?

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22|00|13|08|R|S|Where`s Jesus?
22|00|13|16|R|Q|

23|00|13|08|L|Q|
23|00|13|16|L|S|I think he went
to get groceries.

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